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18 September 2019 @ 12:48 pm
(1) Do you find the ending satisfying?

(2) Are there any plot holes I need to fill in?
(Anonymous) on September 18th, 2019 06:08 pm (UTC)
I'm not seeing any plot holes. A bit of stuff happens off-scene between the final confrontation and the epilogue, but that's fine, IMHO.

I'm not how I feel about the ending. In a way, I really like it, it is kinda similar to the scene where Indiana Jones shoots the swordsman. But it also feels a little like a letdown, after all the build up to the great magic confrontation. Maybe let the confrontation go a bit further, have Xen get a few hard-won hits in, before Mitch intervenes?

cnmckenney on September 18th, 2019 07:12 pm (UTC)
I will disagree with the Other-Sean. I think the ending is appropriate to the series. Xen and the other power users (as well as your readers)need to be reminded that they are strong but still vulnerable to a physical attack and surprise. I find this ending much more satisfying than Xen whuppin' up on 'im.

stan_millerstan_miller on September 18th, 2019 09:36 pm (UTC)
I like the ending, great place to break for the next book.

I didn't notice any holes or goofs.
(Anonymous) on September 18th, 2019 10:32 pm (UTC)
The only hole I find is that there isn't an opportunity to show any reaction by the Old Gods to the appearance of AK. You have one scene where they identify her, but don't really react to her presence. How does Wolfgang *feel* about her (or the others - most of the scene is from Giselle's words)? are the memories too distant to make an impression? if so, maybe add a line or two about that. Or maybe show a memory being triggered?

Or Emre, for that matter.

(Anonymous) on September 20th, 2019 09:59 pm (UTC)
more old gods
Loved it!!!
1. More Old Gods please
2. AK scene in the epilogues
All these powerful old characters seem to be staring at their navels. I agree with DarqRef. You sent Wolf and The Dark Lady off to find Zen....Then they kinda fell out of the scene. You gave way more lines to those minor character Oners like Nich and such who in the original exodus were rather tame uninteresting fellas compared to rest of the "Experimental Kids". The bigger names seem to get treated more like extras people talk about them...but they don't appear to have much to say. As in they are in a hurry to get back to sitting on the porch in the rocking chair instead of the bigfoot ass-kicking (well or ultra stern gazes that cause others to look for the potty) that they seem to still be able to dish out when needed.

AK needs an epilogue scene to tie into whatever you're going to do next with her. Keep us focused on that next book beyond the Political soap in (More 1880s Comet Fall they are past the indian wars and ready to industrialize (magic) lets see it. Less Oner Suburban equestrian fencers) Oner college. Where is my Falco car? That Pyrite blows away? Now long has Never been flying that balloon around? That thing has got have had some upgrades!

Cheers to Sean at least a couple more rounds before batter up.

Great Job Pam!!!