?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
12 August 2019 @ 02:47 pm
_Kaat_  

Don't bother about typos and punctuation unlesss you just can't satnd it. This is extremely rough and will be extensively rewritten at some future date.

::sigh:: Or while I'm on vacation and it still won't shut up.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1my8E3iZWjjJMzh22d4-tnxun8sYirAW3rGZ2ADeTlyw/edit?usp=sharing

 
 
 
(Anonymous) on August 12th, 2019 09:12 pm (UTC)
Discontinuity
Then the accounting of all the secondary damage. All the survivor’s benefits, for the people killed by the invaders. Funding needed for the jump in medical claims. An odd pattern caught her eye. “Why all the abortions? I thought most women had implants?” She looked up the number and contacted their on-call medical expert.

Kaat is working in city traffic control. How does she get line item access to GateCorp budgets?


Bryan




matapampamuphoff on August 13th, 2019 12:55 am (UTC)
Re: Discontinuity
On the news, and did I mention "if it won't shut up"? I've already added a newsletter for the "Survivors of Nowheremageddon"

But not by that name . . . which now I might have to use.

I am out of here at oh dark thirty, and maybe the muse will quiet down for a bit.
(Anonymous) on August 14th, 2019 02:18 am (UTC)
RE: Re: Discontinuity
Maybe you should include a few extracts for info dumps.
James ResoldierJames Resoldier on August 12th, 2019 09:32 pm (UTC)
Oh, my, lord! I love what you did post-confession chapter! And a lot of the collective attitude behind it was all due to a certain street sweeper!
matapampamuphoff on August 13th, 2019 12:59 am (UTC)
The reason most writers speak uneasily about Muses and "gateway" writing is because of those moments when you stare at the screen and say "Oh you poor little amateur? Where the hell did that come from!"
(Anonymous) on August 13th, 2019 02:19 am (UTC)
New school?
What happened to the boarding school Jamie was trained in, 'Earthgate' if I remember right. Maybe stick an 'again' in there. Probably meet said streetsweeper.

Bryan
matapampamuphoff on August 13th, 2019 09:40 am (UTC)
Re: New school?
That was about 20 years prior to Earth Gate, as Jamie was infiltrated before the comet.

“It’s pretty low key. Apparently a few early attempts to infiltrate a magic society failed, so we’re not very well funded.”
(Anonymous) on August 15th, 2019 09:40 am (UTC)
RE: Re: New school?
What? Jamie's twenty years of reports were filed and forgotten? The infiltration was a success but the source was married.

Bryan
(Anonymous) on August 13th, 2019 07:26 am (UTC)
Maybe there needs to be something about Warmonger Earth's recognition of the need to change views on mutations and native peoples? Otherwise what's in it for these marginalised people if they are not able to live as full members of society?

Is there any soul searching after Kaat points out the origins on Fallen and Oners, etc.?
matapampamuphoff on August 13th, 2019 09:44 am (UTC)
A few. Give it another century, two or three generations . . .

Or until people realize they really can be cured of almost anything, including old age. I really ought to follow up on Ajha's notion to convince people through saving the old pets. Even Earth might change its views of genetic engineering . . .
mbarker: Me typing?mbarker on August 13th, 2019 11:54 am (UTC)
Oh, my. A runaway vet, with Wine of the Gods and all the rest of the Fallen abilities? Do it! But what happens when an old dog does learn new tricks... like telepathy!
(Anonymous) on August 13th, 2019 01:53 pm (UTC)
One cute little rich girl with beloved pet and very influential daddy. Or maybe overage race horse meets that wine.
(Anonymous) on August 13th, 2019 08:10 pm (UTC)
This does help explain why Earth has generally been a bit calmer.

Two things: it's wrong for Kaat to just drop the question of Ace Worley. She needs to follow up or deliberately let us see her decide not to for whatever reason. Ace is a pretty big gun on the mantle. Also, glow has been the big attractant behind magical relationships for quite a while. Why does Kaat see non-glowing Danny as desirable when any other Oner, Fallen, etc would say nah, not interested?

Holly
(Anonymous) on August 14th, 2019 11:07 pm (UTC)
If avoiding a direct confrontation, Peter and Siblings know Ace is a Comet Fall mole. Maybe she can act suspicious during her coaching and they can assure her he is just making sure earth stops attacking them. And helping ease tensions about the One World.

(Anonymous) on August 14th, 2019 02:16 am (UTC)
Yeah. I know she must be lonely but other Oners complain about natives or multitude either being flat or even painful because they are not of the One. Perhaps some mention at the beginning of the story about how she feels about going to a non magical world.
Michawl DolbearMichawl Dolbear on August 16th, 2019 12:21 am (UTC)
I copy a comment I added to the G Doc

==
It#s bad tradecraft to use the spys' real names or their cover names (Kaat can 'think' them) I think their code names like vienna1, vienna3 perhaps?

Not mention that Fluffy and Buffy are beauticians and so can easily work in Karista or that some don't have Purple DNA either

I note that the Ambassador hasn't been bugged yet but in principle - nothing he doesn't need to know.
==

Spy experts, please check definitions please

Edited at 2019-08-16 12:27 am (UTC)
(Anonymous) on August 16th, 2019 03:39 pm (UTC)
Good points. Will fix that eventually

Pam
stan_millerstan_miller on August 16th, 2019 09:09 pm (UTC)
Mad Genius Club post
Poor Pam, I know how it is when your brain won't shut and let you sleep or work on something more important than it's current obsession.

https://madgeniusclub.com/2019/08/16/weaving-a-series/

"Small problem. The story starts during the massive FUBAR in book 17 of the series, and you’re supposed to be finishing book 45."
(Anonymous) on August 20th, 2019 08:15 pm (UTC)
Zingos
I note that these cyborg mentalists can do mind manipulation whereas the Zingos can't or aren't trained.

Bryan
matapampamuphoff on August 22nd, 2019 09:49 pm (UTC)
Re: Zingos
Yes, like in _Utopia_ there were only two magically dangerous ones. About half the ordinary soldiers were short distance telepaths, the rest got their orders by radio.