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07 February 2019 @ 08:25 am
_Exzy Misadventure #3_ part 1  

Misadventure Number Three

“Well, tell him to open the gate again and herd them back where they belong.” Rael clicked off, and could feel her cheeks heating at the regard of everyone at the table. The monthly meeting of the department heads. No one seemed to mind a rather ordinary meeting being interrupted.

Chancellor Urfa grinned. “What happened this time?”

Rael sighed. “Despite being warned, his teacher told him to stop lying about being able to open gates. He got mad, she dared him . . . so he opened a gate to a dinosaur world. Apparently she has a half dozen baby Mayasaura running around her classroom.”

“Well,” There was a ton of amusement straining to escape Urfa’s mild tone. “Hopefully Exzy won’t be tossed out of this school, too.”

A chortle from down the table. Professor Ivy, the head of the History Department, seemed to consider Rael’s nine year old child the best form of entertainment around. “But I predict it’s not going to last much longer.”

Rael threw her hands up. “I’m running out of schools! Nobody can cope with a kid who is capable of doing anything.”

A sniff from the Magic Department. “Send him to his father.”

“And miss all the fun?” From the Head of Languages.

Rael growled and looked back a her report. “So. As I was saying, it looks like we’ll have eighteen seniors on the Team Track next year, so I’d like to add six of the top juniors to the advanced class for compass work . . .”


Exzy sighed in relief as the front door closed firmly behind his mother.

“School sucks.” He informed the empty room. Empty house.

Three days suspension! Yay!

Miss Gear seemed shocked that I didn’t fight it, didn’t try to blame it all on her. Did she think I wanted to be in school?

He trotted out to the tiny back yard and sat in the sun. All I’m going to do is look. I mean, maybe they’re all dead. Maybe that was a horrible idea. Plus it’s been over two years. The big rats are probably getting old.

He bit his lip and thought about the Wine. My bottle’s from Rip Crossing. It’s got the Wine of the Gods, the Elixir of Long Life and probably other stuff, but they aren’t von neumans, so since I’ve used so much and refilled so much, the other stuff is probably gone.

Of course it might not work on rats.

There’s the horse one and the dog one . . .

I ought not experiment on smart animals.

A faint rustle from above.

Squirrel are rodents, aren’t they?

And they say there are mice and rats around, you just never see them. Until they’re everywhere.

He trotted into the kitchen and found paper cups, a bottle of wine, half empty, a dropper, and a funnel. He checked his bubble, the bottles were clearly labeled. A bit in each cup. A bit of wine funneled into his bottles to top off his supplies. In fact he need to top off his Wine of the Gods.

He eyed the inch of wine left in his mom’s bottle. Shrugged and added water. “That way she won’t think I’m a wino or something.”

Then back to the back yard to sit and feel for living things in the bushes, and in the house, and call them to him. Nice big—for backyard wildlife—glows reluctantly leaving the shelter of the thick landscaping. He threw a stun spell. Reached wider to call more . . .

Things started hitting his face and he opened his eyes to a buzzing swarm of thousands of flies. A grasshopper came arrowing in . . . He threw out the anti-chiton spell hastily and they all turned to goo and dropping out of the air. On his head and down his shirt, into his cups of elixir.

He jumped up and ran around shaking them out of his hair and clothes.

Knocked over the horse elixir. He grabbed it with a yip of dismay . . . there was enough left, no problem. He picked his way over to the larger animals. Two squirrels, three black rats, two mice, a mole, and the neighbors’ cat.

He separated them out and put them in a network of shields.

“Horse elixir for one squirrel, one rat, one mouse, and the mole.” He dripped a bit into their unconscious mouths, then shifted to the other side of the patio. “Dog elixir for one squirrel, two rats and one mouse.”

He eyed the cat. Scrawny and old. It had taken awhile but the cat had decided that Exzy was suitably well trained in the proper petting of cats and visited regularly. Exzy eyed him, and decided he wasn’t an experimental animal.

Then he went inside for a good book to read while his experiment played out.

A good history book, not the kid’s version they had to read in fifth grade.

When he walked back to the back door, the birds were feasting on the dead flies, and a crow was trying to get at the stunned mole. It gave up and eyed the cat . . .

“Don’t even think about it!”

The little birds fled in a flurry of wings. The crow snatched a big fat grasshopper and flew up to the top of a tree.

Exzy swept the flies off into the little bit of lawn they had, and sat down in the sun to read while the animals recovered.

The cat raised his head, stretched and relaxed in the winter sunshine.

The squirrels regained consciousness next, staggering about, recovering, and racing frantically around their invisible cages. Then the rats . . . backing into corners, then exploring a bit before scuttling into their corners again.

Exzy sighed. “I can’t tell if it doesn’t work, or if it works and doesn’t hurt you.”

They all scurried about, looking for a way out.

After two hours, Exzy released them all and gave the old cat a dropper full of dog elixir. And got scratched and given a dirty look.

The door opened behind him. “Oh, hi Mom. See? I’m here. Reading history.” A quick glance . . . the paper cups and dropper were pretty much out of sight, by the planter.

“But not your history text.”

“It’s boring and simplistic.” Exzy perked up at the sight of the bag in her hand. “Lunch?”


He grabbed the book, slipped the dropper into his pocket to wash out later, and dropped the cups into the trash without his mom noticing anything unusual.

After a really good deli sandwich—I should stash a dozen in my bubble—he was alone again as his mom went back to the university, grumbling about two classes and “those idiot women who’ve never fought in their lives.”

Poor Mom! Stuck teaching martial arts to the girl students. Of course she also teaches the advanced class, magical theory, advance magical practicum. And some lectures sometimes in other professors’ classes about stuff she was in the middle of.

He hunted through the kitchen and finally gave up and programmed the fab for cookies.

If the Rats of NIMH are still alive, I can sprinkle the cookies with the Dog Elixir and leave it for them.

(Anonymous) on February 7th, 2019 02:52 pm (UTC)
Oh, Rael, just home school the kid. Easier on everyone. He can sit in your office while you teach or go to staff meetings. (I used to, in Dad's. Universities can deal.)

cnmckenney on February 7th, 2019 04:54 pm (UTC)
But you forget. If he sits in Rael's office he misses out on the EVER-SO important socialization that he gets in the school. WHERE will he get in life if he misses out on how to kow-tow to a bully and how to properly express patronization of the weaker female element in society. If not for group indoctrination he might actually think that 'Closey Upstart Bastard' is not an insult. And he might miss out on the proper appreciation of Withione as the pinnacle of creation. What if he misses the school cafeteria? Then he can't identify brown stuff, orange stuff, green blob, and yellow goop as proper food groups. And PECKING ORDER, can't miss that. He won't learn how to abuse those lower in the chain and sucking up as a method of moving up.

No. He needs to go to the groupthink factory to learn proper behavior and correct collective thinking.
(Anonymous) on February 7th, 2019 05:19 pm (UTC)
*eyerolls in homeschooler*

ekuah on February 7th, 2019 04:49 pm (UTC)
Dog elixir?
Horse elixir?
Care to explain?
does he hope to make squirrel sized horses?
matapampamuphoff on February 7th, 2019 05:20 pm (UTC)
The Elixir of Long Life. Xen made some specifically for dogs and horses when he was experimenting,and tested it. Then he made the human version.
(Anonymous) on February 7th, 2019 11:54 pm (UTC)
Could you clarify the description there to avoid anyone misunderstanding? It's a bit ambiguous.
mbarkermbarker on February 8th, 2019 12:40 am (UTC)
I kept thinking it was going to change them into horses, dogs, etc.
matapampamuphoff on February 8th, 2019 01:07 am (UTC)
Yes, I've fixed it.
ekuah on February 8th, 2019 08:30 am (UTC)
But on the other hand...
... Squirrel sized horses would be an absolute hit for the girls in his age group.
Of course, Exzy doesn't have a clue how to interact with them ;-)
Girls, yuck, icky.

Edited at 2019-02-08 08:30 am (UTC)
(Anonymous) on February 7th, 2019 06:04 pm (UTC)
Sounds like Exzy needs to go to Wizard school. Either that, or send him to military school, and batten down the hatches. Wicked idea: maybe a little sister would help. . . 8^)
(Anonymous) on February 8th, 2019 12:09 am (UTC)
Would Rael dare have another child after Exzy? Or would Xen have to be injured? What would happen if Rael accidentally drank a power gene installing potion that Easy brought home and started seeing bubbles?
Brice Tawzer on February 7th, 2019 07:37 pm (UTC)
I'm surprised he didn't do his experiments in a bubble. Hidden, contained, can be time dilated.

Come think of it, he should do a trash bubble just for the experiment debris.

It would be hilarious if someone else pointed that out to him - and it demonstrates the raw blindness of youth well.
(Anonymous) on February 7th, 2019 09:20 pm (UTC)
Think before chuckling
"Professor Ivy, the head of the History Department, seemed to consider Rael’s nine year old child the best form of entertainment around."
Professor Ivy had better consider where that nine year old child is likely to go to college in not very many years.
(Anonymous) on February 7th, 2019 10:17 pm (UTC)
Re: Think before chuckling
From context, Professor Ivy (& the others) are associated with "The Directorate School".

As such it's entirely possible that Ivy is looking forward to Exzy's attendance, as an educational tool for the other students if nothing else.

Or they may just be planning on being elsewhere when the time comes (though that plan may run into issues when you consider that for Exzy to have been 8 when Ryol was 19 he had to have spent at least half his life to that point in fast time).
matapampamuphoff on February 7th, 2019 10:44 pm (UTC)
Re: Think before chuckling
Exzy realized that if he slept in the fast room for twenty minutes/6.5 hours, he could be up all night, sleep in the fast room again before his parent's alarm went off and be raring to go in the morning.

He's adding an extra six months to every year. However, Ryol was a 19 year old DS student when Exzy was born. She's now a X teamer, working for Ajha.

I'm writing all over the future.

Lucky Dave and Prophetable Dimension are summer of 1413 yp

Guardsman will be 1413 through the election in the fall of 1415.

Marooned will start in Ramadan 1415 yp--President Izzo's first cross dimensional crisis--and run through the late summer of 1416 yp. So even with doubled fast rooms, Exzy's not born until Fall 1416. Rael will start teaching in the Spring semester 1417.
matapampamuphoff on February 7th, 2019 10:22 pm (UTC)
Re: Think before chuckling
He survived Ebsa, Ra'd, and Paer at war with som really twisted and nasty team trainees.

His problem with Exzy is more like "You missed three days of class in a row."

"Sorry, an Uncontacted Earth tried to claim my experimental world, and I had trouble getting them to move to another."

"Experimental world." Braces self. "All your own, no doubt. And what sort of experiments do to conduct there?"

"Oh, just one. It's a long running study of genetically engineered intelligent rats."

"Long running?"

"Eleven years."
(Anonymous) on February 8th, 2019 02:54 am (UTC)
Re: Think before chuckling
At least with Exzy they'll be dealing with a student whose kink seems to be helping people (with a wide definition of "people" thrown in).

I mean, Ebsa has gone from "Kitchen" to almost terminally nice, but his nice has an off-switch (& is just "nice").
(Anonymous) on February 12th, 2019 03:11 am (UTC)
Re: Think before chuckling
It occurs to me (now) that Exzy could probably use studies of the Rats for many of his Directorate School assignments (Social Development of the Rat Culture, Mythology & Hagiography of a Species who know exactly what & who created them, Magic as developed by the Rats after a specific set of initial lessons, Population control methods developed by the Rats as they hit the limits of what they can manage with agriculture & husbandry, etcetera).

Hell, once word gets out Exzy may have to get the Rats to sign off on letting other Humans study them (& maybe trade, I'd imagine the Rats would probably master magifacturing pretty quick once they'd gotten the technological uplift).
cnmckenney on February 21st, 2019 07:02 pm (UTC)
Re: Think before chuckling
And what happens when the rats run into the Elves? And the Lost World fauna of Dystopia? Or Hell's hellhounds?