matapam (pamuphoff) wrote,
matapam
pamuphoff

_Scrambled_

Approaches completion.

I need to have pointed out to me gaps and holes and inconsistencies and especially scenes that need more.

The main things you guys haven't seen are Ebsa & Co aiding Disco with the rescue of the people scattered about.

So, do I need to write out the details of the whole Water World rescue? Do I need to show the Dino World rescue?

Anything else?

Remember that this is before _Children of a Foreign God_.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aDP4vhz6olxRxwsDNkueSEpogTknpz0VnRUHt-U384E/edit?usp=sharing

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  • 14 comments

  • _Hostile Takeover_ Part 23

    He reached diagonally ahead and to the right and there it was. Just fifteen feet away. Steel frame and concrete. All he needed was to find a door .…

  • _Hostile Takeover_ Part 22

    "I'm certain of that, sir." Barf bit his lip. "And while one of our portals might happen to be working . . . is there anything…

  • _Hostile Takeover_ Part 21

    He could see the shield reaching across the room from Rasputin to the far wall, protecting the Governor and Chief. He took two steps to the other…