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10 October 2018 @ 08:36 am
_One Love_ Part 4  
Chapter Six

"One With Each Other" was the largest wedding organizer in the Empire.

They were utterly aghast at the thought of a mere four months of preparation time. "The dresses! The flowers! The cakes! The venue!"

Ebsa cleared his throat. "We thought, the garden at Versalle. And the staff ought to take this right in stride . . . "

"No, no, no! Not for the wedding of the President's daughter! The Grand Mosque is the only possible . . . "

"And a white wedding gown for a proper Daughter of the Prophet's wedding."

"Right, however fun some of the, ahem, local traditions can be." Madam Beut nodded decisively.

"Off white, dear Abbie, stark white won't do!"

"Good One, dear Coat! That was implied!"

Ebsa and Paer met each other's gaze.

"We will survive this." Paer swallowed, as if refusing to add "I hope."

***

Isakson glared at him. "You will wear the keffiyeh and agal of a Warrior of the One."

Ebsa paused, mouth open while his sense of self-preservation caught up with his tongue. He cleared his throat. "Of course. Umm . . . Paer?"

"I am not suicidal. Never tell a woman what to wear to her own wedding."

He commed the wedding planners. "Who is in charge of the groom's clothing? Ah, well, I believe I forgot to mention that as a Warrior of the One I will of course be wearing . . . "

Much horror in the voice of whichever of the ABC’s he was talking to—Abbie, he thought.

He listened in to the faint argument in the background.

“But he’s a Warrior! The first Warrior to have a wedding!”

Silence, then grudging acceptance.

"But the keffiyeh must coordinate with the tuxedo, and must the agal be that shade of green . . .”

“And I mean, Montevideo, the boy's probably a Catholic . . . Can't we just forgo the whole headgear thing? And what about Paer's tiara and veils? They'll have to be . . ."

“No, no! Just the greenery in the bouquet will be sufficient! Good heavens! You’d think these children wanted to elope!

Paer and Ebsa swapped nods.

***

Then the interview with the President's PR staff so they could issue an official biography of Paer's fiancé.

"Now tell us everything and we'll clean up the things that shouldn't be publicized. Umm, Director Urfa has classified this, so we can't go to the police about any of it." Nervous look from the two women. "Why did he say that?"

"Because of the very dangerous nature of many of my assignments I regularly carry deadly weapons, and umm, some Comet Fall Joy Juice."

"But . . . but not here. Where it would be quite illegal."

Ebsa eyed the nice ladies. Over protected office workers. "I come and go regularly. Through gates, that is to say, in and out of the One World. So . . . yes."

"Oh. Umm, we'll be right back."

"Say hi to Urfa for me." Ebsa sighed.

Fortunately I never got arrested in my wannabe gangster phase. I can soften that up a bit. Emphasize the growing up in a kitchen, love to cook stuff. Oh, and the Doodlebugging. Must remember the Doodlebug races. And the street orgy . . . and having at least one child . . . One! This is going to take some time!

***

"It's not too late to elope." Paer's voice was a near growl.

"Oh One! What now?" Ebsa eyed his comm in alarm.

"They want me to diet and stop exercising. I'm apparently too muscular and healthy for their waif-like imaging of the perfect bride."

"Tell them to stuff it. Point out what a blow to their business reputation it would be if they made the wedding dress the wrong size. And tell them you intend to dance in it."

"Oh, let's not even mention the four meter train."

"Detachable. Treat them like giant rats. Make them respect you."

"When I said yes, I ought to have hauled you straight to the nearest priest."

"Heh. I ought to have done that years ago."

***

"Paer! Paer! Did the wedding planners actually call you fat?" Newsies holding mics up to catch her reply.

"No, they said muscular. I pointed out that I was a directorate agent, not a high society trophy. I just hope the dress fits the real me, not what they imagine my shape ought to be."

***

Paer growled. "And they ordered me to stop clipping my fingernails."

Ebsa nodded. "They sent me to this . . . well, I refuse to call him a barber. It would be an insult to every honest barber in the Empire. Thank the One I'll be wearing that kaffiyeh."

"Oh. They looked at my hair and sort of shook their heads. They didn't say a thing."

"That's ominous."

***

"You are pathetic." Ra'd grinned. "Do I need to show you how to handle the artistic temperament?"

"He's not an artist. He's a tailor who's putting on airs."

"Come with me. I will save you from the nasty man."

Ra'd's friendly hand on his shoulder shoved him through the door.

The nasty little man had a manikin dressed in a green tuxedo front and center.

Ra'd prowled around it, eyed the other cloth draped around the room. Lifted his nose. "A green tuxedo? No, I think not. A bit too much green for good tastes. Let's go with the dark cream." He grabbed some cloth and draped it over the green monstrosity. Turned back for a scrap of shiny deep green fabric. "Dark green silk pocket accent. The agal can be that dark too. Wind some gold cords around it. Make the keffiyeh cream a shade or two lighter for contrast. Silk, of course."

The male wardrobe coordinator scowled but jolted down a note.

Ra'd flipped a limp wrist. "And just think of the striking contrast of red roses in the boutonniere. Darling! It will become the rage. Men will flock to you for elegant masculine garb."

The nasty little man paused, eyes slowly widening. "Oh! Red roses have been out for so long . . . " He snatched a bit of red whatever and twisted it up and held it against the dark cream, edged the dark green closer . . . "Oh yes! Time for red roses to return! I will . . . I will create a trend!"

Outside, R'ad crawled into the back seat of the car and fell over laughing.

Ebsa slammed the door on him and walked around to the driver's seat. "So . . . don't you and Nighthawk want a fancy wedding?"

"One no! She'd have killed someone by now."

"You are so weird. Stone cold warriors are not supposed to be Ahhhtists, daaahling."

"Ha! Look at yourself, Daddy to Dinosaurs. Warriors had some . . . interesting hobbies." Ra'd sat up finally. "So. I'm afraid to ask what they are doing to Paer's dress. And I have to get back to work, so you'll have to deal with that yourself."

***

Ebsa stared at the computer model. Blinked. "Ha! Very funny. Now what are you really recommending?"

Indignant stares.

He looked back at the screen. Hadn't changed.

He kept his voice level and calm with an effort. "No. I do not care what the latest fad is. Pictures of this wedding will be shown for decades to come. Centuries. My wife will not be immortalized with peek-a-boo holes in the front of her wedding gown. And why the high neckline? You've put everything else on display."

"To hide her excessively developed trapezius muscles." Three noses elevated.

Paer trotted in. "Sorry I'm late . . . " She stopped dead.

"I've already said no."

"Good." Paer looked at the three stubborn women. "Are. You. Insane? I said traditional. I'll be back tomorrow, and I expect a traditional design."

She walked out, Ebsa on her heels.

"I am going to strangle them. I swear, I'm going to do it."

Ebsa steered her away from the limo and toward his car. "C'mon. Time for us to do some planning. And bring in the big guns."

"Your mother?"

"And my step mother. Those three don't stand a chance."





 
 
 
Hazel Leah Woods: Christmashlwoods on October 10th, 2018 02:09 pm (UTC)
This is just too amazing. I am rolling on the floor. :)
(Anonymous) on October 10th, 2018 06:01 pm (UTC)
So the implication that Paer is now considered a Warrior (presumably in recognition of Dystopia?), which is cool...

But what if she decided that if Ebsa has to wear the keffiyah, she should at least nod in that direction?

Would people get it?

What are the implications of changing "But he's the first Warrior to get married" to a belated public recognition that "they're the first Warriors to marry each other"?

Will all the twits who've been harassing her/them for years realize just how high that cliff they never actually fell off was?
(Anonymous) on October 10th, 2018 11:39 pm (UTC)
Perhaps a green silk ribbon or a band of emeralds?
ekuah on October 10th, 2018 06:39 pm (UTC)
Correction:
"So . . . don't you and Nighthawk want a fancy wedding?"

"One no! She'd have killed someone by now."

I don't think so.
Nighthawk would have turned those wedding planners into goats even before they could have uttered a single word.
I mean:
A witch.
Having a wedding.
The scandal.
(Anonymous) on October 10th, 2018 06:53 pm (UTC)
Re: Correction:
I don't think so. Far too much dignity. Rabbits, off white with orange stripes rabbits.
(Anonymous) on October 10th, 2018 07:05 pm (UTC)
Money
Who is paying? Most of it can be paid by Paer's dad as the bride's father, but Ebsa's and Ra'd's tuxes as well as the bridesmaid dresses are not going to be inexpensive at all (and probably not good value for the money).
Also, how does Paer get the bridesmaid dresses to co-ordinate with the dress she actually wears seeing as it is secret until the day?
matapampamuphoff on October 10th, 2018 07:31 pm (UTC)
Re: Money
"Scoop neck, ragland sleeves, this color. Those idiot wedding arrangers recommended these guys, I got estimates from them and three others, I say we go with this one and who needs help paying for them?"

Bride's maid dresses are never good value for the money, useless afterwards, and paid for by the bridesmaids. At least that's how it worked for the two I was roped in for. In this case the custom tuxes instead of renting, is an expense for the grooms.

Now how customs have changed in 1400 years? Who knows? I refuse to invent details on the matter.
matapampamuphoff on October 10th, 2018 07:32 pm (UTC)
Re: Money
And in this case, they're all collectors' items.
(Anonymous) on October 10th, 2018 11:41 pm (UTC)
RE: Re: Money
Clearly my friends and I were sane brides.

The only thing that keeps me from rewearing my matron of honor dress is not being six months pregnant. The only thing keeping my maid of honor from wearing hers is a few pounds from two kids. Adorable kids, mind you.

Holly
matapampamuphoff on October 11th, 2018 12:54 am (UTC)
Re: Money
My soon to be husband and I spent all our saving on a down payment on a house. Mind you, we were 26 and 29, not starry-eyed kids (can't believe I just wrote that!) I altered my sisters wedding gown from her first marriage (she was working on her second divorce) Tom got a nice new suit he needed for the office.

We got the curtains up in the house the day before, got the JP out to the house and invited everyone we knew. Beer, couple of sandwich trays, cake.

It's lasted 38.5 years, so I guess we suit each other. :D
(Anonymous) on October 11th, 2018 04:41 pm (UTC)
RE: Re: Money
My wedding gown is a family heirloom, sixty years old when we got married, I was the fifth bride to wear it.

It occures to me that Paer could match Ebsa's headgear with a green band, maybe emeralds, on her veil.

I'm just going to sit over here and talk fashion with Ra'd now.

Holly
(Anonymous) on October 11th, 2018 05:20 am (UTC)
Wedding organizer
If I understand this, Paer is the highest of high society. Would she be using the largest organizer, or the most exclusive organizer? It seems to me that there would be more bragging rights in using the most exclusive (Not that Paer would care, but it is probably not her choice).
Michawl DolbearMichawl Dolbear on October 11th, 2018 04:07 pm (UTC)
Re: Wedding organizer
If it were a quiet wedding in the Graden, yes.

But the biggest ever wedding needs a bid staff.