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02 February 2018 @ 09:45 pm
_Last Merge_  
And I won't swear this is the final version--there are still too many rough trasitions between scenes--but it's just about done.

_If_ you aren't sick and tired of it, I would especially appreciate you noting (1) Where it drags. (2) where it's confusing (3) where you  quit reading.

(Anonymous) on February 3rd, 2018 10:27 pm (UTC)
I only found one transition that seemed strange, and marked it. I think it could be solved with an extra "and he sent them back to work at creating gates" or something.

(Anonymous) on February 5th, 2018 11:22 pm (UTC)
its ready
The minor things that were noted very few...with reason should be quick to adjust. Its done. Good Work