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18 March 2017 @ 11:11 am
How's this?  
matapampamuphoff on March 18th, 2017 06:34 pm (UTC)
Do I need to tone down or change the red building?

I'm doing art to avoid having to read it just one more time. The hopefully, absolutely perfect, final version is up on the Google doc now, if you want a clean copy. Same as the old link.

Michawl DolbearMichawl Dolbear on March 18th, 2017 07:50 pm (UTC)

There is one =team mates= that should be +teammates+ for consistency.
(Anonymous) on March 18th, 2017 07:15 pm (UTC)
All in all, it looks cleaner and more lifelike than a couple of your recent covers.

As someone already reading everything, it looks ok. As best I can come to thinking like a new reader, it still looks pretty good. Artistically, the only thing I can think of is to have *something* sticking it's head around the side of the gate, but I don't think that would show too well in a thumbnail size.

on the other hand, I was just reading Chicago, and the back of that said two more stories in that series supposed to be by 2013?!?! Do you have to have a print version of those first, or can you release them in e-versions?

matapampamuphoff on March 18th, 2017 09:50 pm (UTC)
For the Barton Street Gym series, I've got two stories done and one that need serious revision, then I'll both epub and paper pub a collection with all three.

The two that are done are _Badger and Bird_ and _Atlantis_. Twin Cities is under revision.
Michawl DolbearMichawl Dolbear on March 18th, 2017 07:54 pm (UTC)
Improved, but I think the 'drippy' red title is unsatisfactory.

A plainer or sharper font please.

I didn't even realise the red /was/ a building. More realism or more symbolic needed.
matapampamuphoff on March 18th, 2017 09:53 pm (UTC)
The font problem is probably because I reduced the size for a fast upload.

Okay, I rather thought the building needed more work.
(Anonymous) on March 19th, 2017 03:35 am (UTC)
I'm thinking a lip (okay a wall) on the roof, and maybe blurred ovals (aka faces) looking out the windows to help us identify them as windows?
mbarkermbarker on March 19th, 2017 03:40 am (UTC)
Whoops, that was me. And while we're fine tuning, might lighten up the shadows across the bottom so that your name pops out a bit more. Right now it kind slides off into the shadow border.