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matapam
pamuphoff
26 May 2016 @ 10:29 am
Next!  
So while I wait impatiently for comments about _Embassy_ I need to start writing the next book.

So many possibilities . . .

I've got a neat idea about Mirk, Frost, Halberd, and Napalm on the World they've found.

And then there's _Cannibal Word_ I really need to rewrite/finish writing the whole first encounter.

But chronilogically, I need to finish _Prince Primus_ It's . . . a problem because I have to brutally torture a nice guy.
 
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ekuah on May 26th, 2016 03:55 pm (UTC)
Comment about Embassy
All in all nice book.
But we will need the actual revision to find the plot line quirks.

One thing what would need some work (Imho) are scenes which feels like long monologues. (I'm repeating me here)
Sometimes, it feels like you are just shoehorning in story facts. (Sorry)

The scenes have several participants, but only one person talks for several sentences, without any response from the others.
Which feels a little bit unnatural (especially with mind boggling facts) when there is no reaction to it.
Even a simple 'His listeners were silent while trying to comprehend the implication of his statement' set in between, would help to break up the monologue like feeling.

but this are only my 50 cent
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