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17 April 2017 @ 09:48 pm
Problems  
This story is lacking them.

No conflicts to speak of.

So . . . That's going to have to be the Ministry of War, not Transportation. It's going to have a bunch-a-ton of Ministry Guards and maybe an army officer or three marooned here.

Those Earth soldiers that Ebsa and Nick fought, wound up here as well. They're feeling a bit grudgy.

Nick has the bad combo of rape genes. As he speeds through puberty, he's going to discover some all new demons inside, and is going to have to deal with them.

Not too much rewriting at the Ministry. Mainly need to add the Earth soldiers to the mix.

Okay. That'll keep me out of trouble tomorrow.
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on April 18th, 2017 09:27 am (UTC)
Did any of the non-human Earths get mixed in? A vane with blocks of algae, dinosaur, fish, lions, and tigers and bears... oh, my! Might make a diversion, at least? Actually, a herd of bison might be amusing. Or monkeys!
mbarkermbarker on April 18th, 2017 11:49 am (UTC)
And having gone back and looked at the fan graphic again, I see we do have four worlds in there, algae, water, Dino, and... something else. So that's why we have Dinos waltzing around.

And this time, I remembered to sign in, too!
(Anonymous) on April 18th, 2017 01:51 pm (UTC)
Scrambled - Problems
First problems - Why and Who? Is the 'Scrambled' situation arising from the Helios? The Earthers? the One? the Elves? Is it a natural disaster? Who are the Protagonists?
Second problem - Has it stopped? Is the situation stable or is sudden change possible/likely?
Third Problem - can things be put back as they should be? Should they be put back as they should be?
Ian_B
matapampamuphoff on April 18th, 2017 02:22 pm (UTC)
Re: Scrambled - Problems
I'm merging this with _Mirror, Mirror_ which is fairly clear that this is man-made. An unforeseen consequence of a nuclear explosion in a working gate.

The swapping of pieces of world appears to have stopped. Being the writer, I know it's done, not going to happen again. The characters have no way to know that, and thus the reader doesn't either.